Jo Hyun Jae

It’s Thanksgiving today (November 26.)  Thanksgiving Day is a harvest festival celebrated primarily in the U.S. (4th Thursday of Nov.) and Canada (2nd Monday of Oct.)  Traditionally, it is a time to give thanks for the harvest and express gratitude in general, but now it is just a secular holiday.  Thanksgiving dinner is held on this day, usually as a gathering of family and friends.

It’s Thanksgiving and I’m all alone in L.A.  But it’s all right: being alone is not the same as being lonely.  My husband left last night; he chose the busiest travel day of the year to fly home.  (When he booked his flight, he did not know Nov.25 was the day before Thanksgiving — when everyone in the U.S. is going home.)

I didn’t leave with my husband because I’m here to take care of some important business which is supposed to take 2 – 3 weeks.  I budgeted 4 weeks, but it was completed in one week!  So I’m stuck here because cheap tickets do not allow changes.  I don’t mind being alone; it gives me plenty of time to work on our blog.

Friends, however, would not leave me alone.  I declined all invitations to Thanksgiving dinner because I don’t feel like driving over an hour (one way) at night.  (California is so spread out; people here cannot live without their cars.)  And I don’t like turkey anyway.

On this family-oriented day, I think about my family and my second family here on this blog — all the JHJ fans that I hear from, some everyday.  We may not have met (yet), but I feel we are already family, united in our love of JHJ.

And I think about JHJ and his family, particularly his grievously ill father.  There is a Chinese saying: “Prolonged illness leaves one with no more filial sons.”  The sick person suffers, of course, but his family also suffers.  It is torture to watch a loved one wasting away.  By all accounts, JHJ’s father has been ill for several years.  That was why the burden to support the family fell on JHJ at such a tender age.  (He had to quit before finishing high school to work.)  The Chinese saying means protracted illness of a parent takes its toll on the children, and even filial children would find the burden too much to bear.  I have seen many such cases in real life.  Our JHJ, however, has been taking care of his sick father (and mother too) all these years and has not shown any signs of giving up.  The recent news report about his anxiety on not being able to visit his father whose health is deteriorating has touched a chord in many of his fans.

Many fans have left messages (on this blog and other JHJ websites) wishing JHJ’s father a speedy recovery.  But Mr. Jo Sr.’s is no ordinary illness, and recovery is an optimistic but unrealistic expectation.  “Stable” or “Not getting worse” seems to be the best that can be hoped for.  It breaks my heart to read that the bedridden father is constantly asking for his son: “When is Hyun-Jae coming?”  The report also says Mr. Jo Sr.’s condition has deteriorated to such an extent that he could no longer recognize his family.  I pray that if and when JHJ comes to his bedside, he will know his son.

It’s terrible to watch someone we love suffer.  Only now do I know it’s terrible to watch someone we love suffer because someone he loves is suffering.  I know JHJ will be strong.  But I feel he is the kind of person who suffers in silence.

All we can do is watch and pray — pray that God will watch over JHJ and his family.

(Credit: Photo from “3 Dads/1 Mom” – creation of Maridna that she calls “Blessed diary.”  Thanks!)